Japan Wrap-up

I am writing from the seat of my Delta flight back to the U.S. after a simply breathtaking two weeks in Japan that, in the rear-view mirror, feels simultaneously like it lasted both an entire lifetime and only six minutes. Such is the case with these experiences that you anticipate for so long, invest a lot of energy and effort into enjoying, and then miss when they are over. We both agree, thankfully, that this felt like a well chosen duration—not too short as to leave us in a state of regret, and not so long as to force us to slog through any emerging feelings of homesickness. 

I hoped to write a few reflections, summaries, random musings, etc. here, both for my own safekeeping and for the benefit of anyone who may read this and wish to take away any useful wisdom from our adventures. Without further ado:

• What I will remember most fondly and most forcefully about the Japanese people was their quiet generosity and warmth of spirit. I scrutinized posts on Reddit from scores of travelers prior to our arrival detailing their own experiences and recommendations for a successful visit to Japan, and reviews were often quite mixed. Some raved and couldn’t say enough about the kindness of the Japanese populace and the ease of respectful interaction, and others labeled the country as one of the most arduous travel destinations due to difficulties with language barriers, unclear communication, or hostile reception of foreigners. I can confidently say after our own two-week trip, even knowing that our experience is not a monolith and can only be so broadly applied, that we were received as warmly as we could have expected and then some by nearly every interaction in every establishment. Businesses welcomed us openly and were happy to accommodate our linguistic challenges. And, of course, this subject is a two-way street. If you arrive to Japan not understanding that it is incumbent upon you to make at least a nominal effort to adapt to the national language of the country you’re in, you will create your own headaches that could have been avoided. When I think of Japan, I will remember the smile of the woman who served us at the soba shop. The conversations with Kai and Tom-Tom at Chill Labo. The eagerness with which airport security personnel helped Paresh locate his missing documents upon arrival. Our host from our Shinjuku Airbnb, Andy, meeting me at the door and welcoming me to Japan. The smiling waves from Universal Studios Japan staff that brightened an already incredible day. And the quiet but powerful hospitality of Bar ISTA, where we first experienced the oft-repeated arigato gozaimasu in response to our menu order—a flipped script from our normal life.

• I was remiss not to share in yesterday’s blog post a wonderful exchange that we had with the staff at Chill Labo. They had asked us if we were visiting together as friends, and were stunned to hear we had been lifelong friends of 32 years. They taught us that there is a special phrase in Japanese—幼なじみ, osananajimi—which translates to “childhood friend,” used only between people who have earned that rare distinction of having known each other through multiple phases of life. I’ve earned enough of a reputation for being sentimental about my friendships—both old and new—that it should not be surprising that this was a touching moment for me, and it felt poetic to encounter this factoid on our final night in Tokyo. 

• Concerning matters of heat. I feel torn on this subject. On the one hand, I admit to feeling a headstrong instinct to play the told you so card with respect to our having survived the notorious August heat of Japan with little fanfare. But there is also the reality that the temperature throughout this trip was well into the 90s, and it played a large role in determining the cadence of our days and the pace at which we could adventure. So I find myself stationed at a bit of an impasse. Do I feel that reports of the insufferability of the heat were embellished? Without question. Some of the things I read would have led you to believe traveling to Japan in August was akin to walking into a live volcano as it was erupting. But I also spent enough time caked in sweat and craving time indoors to concede that it was brutal at times. But, as a country, Japan has adapted in ways that are fairly remarkable. It’s not like we traveled to a place that has simply thrown up its hands in defeat to Mother Nature. There are widely available remedies and preventative measures that help to mitigate the hostile effects of the sun, and as I’ve mentioned several times now, the prevalence and quality of air conditioning cannot be overstated. (Oregon, get your shit together.)

• Traveling with your best friends can sort of fall into that same category as living with them. The regular course of friendship does not necessarily put you through the requisite stress testing to know if you can successfully cohabitate, eat, geographically navigate, problem solve, manage frustration, and just generally spend every waking second together for days and weeks at a time. Paresh and I haven’t done this together since we were barely teenagers! But I am elated to report that our bond held tight throughout these two weeks and we ended our vacation at that vaunted state you can only hope for: closer than ever. There is nobody I trust or respect more and probably nobody else with whom I could have traversed these two weeks so successfully. (Paresh, you’re welcome to weigh in in the comments to offer a second opinion, but only if you agree.)

• We need to have a conversation about American exceptionalism. Badly. Let’s level here: my points of reference for my incoming opinions are Australia, Norway, Canada, and now Japan. But the extent to which all of these countries have surpassed us along countless quality-of-life axes would be merely regrettable, but it is pathetic in light of the boisterous braggadocio of our idiot-in-chief who peddles fairytales of our country’s mystical superiority at every opportunity. We are now known internationally as hypnotized lemmings who hum an old refrain of being the envy of the world while the world looks—backwards—at us with what would be pity if it hadn’t been goaded into irritation. Norway actually cares for its people and does so with policy and action. Japan introduced us to a laser-like level of societal efficiency at an unimaginable scale. All of this while we continue to read reports from back home about children being shot in their schools. No amount of mental gymnastics can make this make sense. It is well past time we learned to show a fragment of humility and realize the time for the reset button has long since passed.

Thought I would finish with a few greatest hits awards:

Best Bite: Uni to negi-toro hand roll at Sushi Takeuchi, Tokyo.
Worst Bite: Giant oyster at Toshi’s market tour, Tokyo. I’m normally an oyster fan, but this was a miss!
Best Sip: Making A Story cocktail at Bar ISTA, Osaka.
Worst Sip: Coffee at Sushiro, Tokyo. Cardinal sin.
Favorite City: Tough call, but probably Osaka. 
Favorite Day: Day 6 – Universal Studios Japan trip, Osaka. The ever-hyped centerpiece of the trip delivered.
Biggest Miss-out: Nintendo Museum, Kyoto. If I’d only been seconds quicker…
Wish we could go back: Toss-up between Sushiro and Pizza Studio Tamaki. Independently memorable for very different reasons. Both places I will miss fiercely.
Once is enough (if not too much): Art Aquarium in Tokyo. The experience only got weirder in hindsight. But, it’s also pretty positive to report that was our biggest blunder.

Careful readers may recall that, while this adventure is now over, a new one soon begins. In two days (definitely enough time to vanquish jet lag, yeah?), I will be starting a graduate school program in school counseling. I am a ball of nerves as I sit on the precipice of reentering the world of academia after over 18 years on the sidelines. It’s a stretch of a connection, but much of what I’ve experienced in Japan has reminded me of the opportunities that open up when you remain flexible, curious, and eager. I’ve never lent much credence to the Gen Z method of “manifesting,” but I do believe that aligning your energy in a certain way can render certain outcomes more probable—that is to say, accepting and expecting that positive things can happen will make that reality more achievable. And so that feels like the task before me. Being consumed by trepidation often has the opposite effect of stifling progress and hindering success. It is gratifying that I got to practice this concept in a fun context. Now it’s time to apply it in a serious one.

It is only right to acknowledge that this trip would not have been possible without my parents, who support me relentlessly in ways I sometimes feel I don’t deserve, and without whose psychological and financial encouragement I couldn’t have done this at all. I am grateful for qualities absorbed from each of them—my mom’s meticulous planning and organization (which she will be surprised to see me reference here) and Papa’s damn the torpedoes approach to unusual and unfamiliar experiences (that ostrich brat may not hold on for much longer as the strangest food item)—and I am especially glad for their support of these writings and the pride with which they disseminate them to everyone and anyone who will read them. I’ve been happy for each and every set of eyes that has read even a paragraph or two of this author’s humble bumblings. I’m excited to see where I end up next to fill up some more of these pages. Until that time, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for reading. Sayonara for now.